Tipsy

I just got back from my work Christmas party. 

I’ll be honest, I probably need to go have a lie down but instead I am at my computer writing, because that’s how dedicated I am to my craft. I’m a true artist. 

My wife picked me up from the party, and honestly I love her. I mean this is one of the best parts of marriage - you always have someone to pick you up from the airport or pick you up from the Christmas party. 

One of the benefits of entering into a covenantal relationship is being able to delete the Uber app from your phone. 

After I finish writing my blog we are going to finish watching Mare of Eastown and I’m honestly very excited. 

Okay so, what are we talking about today?

Might as well talk about the benefits of being tipsy. James Acaster has this line where he says the best thing in life you can be is tipsy. There are four things you can be in your life - sober, tipsy, drunk and hungover. Tipsy is the only one where you aren’t crying during it. 

And he’s very right, except I don’t really cry during any of those states anyway. 

I find it very hard to actually physically cry. Like at times I really want to but I physically can’t. 

I feel like in today’s day and age it’s really cool for a guy to cry. It shows their sensitive side and shows they’re not like the other men. 

I unfortunately cannot cry, and boy have I tried. Even at my own wedding I didn’t really cry.

Well I cried when I saw my sister and that was only because she was crying. 

I was just at a wedding yesterday and the groom cried so much that it made me reconsider whether I even loved my wife. 

You know when you see a dude just break down because his wife is in a wedding dress and it’s just the most amazing thing in the world. 

I didn’t really have that reaction at all. 

And I feel bad, I absolutely should have. She looked beautiful and I love her more than anyone in the entire world. 

Like I love my wife and I will always remember our wedding day, but I didn’t cry. Like I wanted to cry and I was really happy but I think that I physically can’t. 

This is like a Christian thing too. Christians bloody love to cry. 

Oh man, it’s like every time they feel a slight breeze of the Holy Spirit they break down. And suddenly you’re like oh woah the Spirit is moving. 

I get sceptical, I’m like are you just having a mental breakdown or are you actually having a supernatural experience - because I think you’re having a mental breakdown. 

Look don’t get me wrong, I’m an emotional guy. I mean that much is obvious, but when it comes to crying I just seize up. It’s like my tear ducts are Australian farmers - they haven’t seen rain in years. 

I love drinking. I really don’t do it that often, but when I do - it’s really great. 

It’s a great way to relax. Great way to unwind and forget your problems. Well not so much forget your problems but you seem to care less about them. 

Like even now, I probably would have censored myself a few times by now but I’m going all out baby. I’m going hard. 

Should probably use this moment to actually try and say what I want to say about this next show that I’m working on. 

Look. 

I think this next show is going to be about moving forward. About what it feels like to be the next generation, what it’s like to be the future. 

I really think people my age need to start stepping up.

We need to start being the leaders we were born to be. Whether that’s in the marketplace, stepping up in your faith, stepping up for your culture, stepping up for your sexuality etc. 

I’d like to write a show that inspires people to move on, that inspires people to forgive, that inspires people to have faith. 

Could I do it? Ha probably not. 

But I’ll definitely try. 

Okay, going to watch Mare of Easttown now. Byeeeeeeeeeeeee.