I spend too much time on my phone. 

Just scrolling through Instagram, Twitter and if I’m really desperate - Facebook. 

You ever get so desperate for content you’ll take anything. Even your Mum’s friend’s take on toxic relationships. 

Geraldine, Oprah isn’t ghosting you - she just doesn’t read her Facebook messages. Let it go or try Jimmy Fallon, that guy will do anything.  

I am really bad at replying to people’s messages. 

It’s a sickness I know. There is an arrogance that is deeply dark and disturbing. 

Like people that don’t offer to bring anything when they’re invited over to someone’s house. They’re going to tell you no because they’re polite, but you still have to ask fucker. 

I’m sure there are a bunch of people out there that are like this dude who can write a blog everyday but he can’t reply to a simple message. I need to get better at prioritising.

I’m really not sure why I don’t like replying straight away. 

I think it’s because usually I’m not supposed to be on my phone but when someone messages me it’s like they’ve caught me doing something I should be doing and so then I panic and don’t reply till later, or more likely I forget that person messaged me. 

I need to get better at it. I know it’s wrong. 

Speaking of things that are wrong. Afterpay is somehow a thing. 

It’s like the GFC never happened and we forgot what happens when people start making money or giving money to people that are bad at money. 

Spoiler alert. We let Matt Damon start narrating documentaries. 

They’ve just made it possible to use Afterpay at cafes and restaurants, which is the dumbest thing since people started using the phrase “the best thing since sliced bread”. 

If you need a micro-loan for a cronut you aren’t fit to be a contributing member of society. 

Start again please. 

The whole Afterpay thing also just made me hate banks more. 

When my wife and I were applying for a loan our broker told us that banks look negatively on things like Afterpay because it shows you are a compulsive spender and makes lending you more risky. 

But then just a few short months later, the big four banks are coming out with their own versions of buy now pay later, which no doubt have less negative ramifications on your ability to get a home loan. 

It’s disingenuous bullshit, and from a bank! Who would have thought. 

They’re coming across like a “cool parent” who lets their kids drink indoors. They’re like “It’s fine for you to get financially fucked up, as long as you’re doing it in our house I don’t mind.”

I’ve started getting targeted ads for this thing called BeforePay, which is where you can pay for things using a portion of your next pay check. Essentially, buying stuff with money you haven’t earned yet. 

Are these people trying to turn people into slaves? Holy shit. 

Imagine working all month or all fortnight just so you can pay back an app that lent you money. 

I’m aware that the last few ideas reek with my own privilege. I’m lucky, my parents taught me about money and how to save and how to work for it. I’m lucky my parents are brown. 

Some other people aren’t that lucky. I don’t know if you know this but some people...aren’t brown :(

For some people it’s just about getting access to cash whenever and however you can. 

But if you’re creating a system where people are putting their groceries on lay-by so they can feed their kids week to week, something is really wrong.